Some of my better tweets

Contrary to popular belief, most geese are serious.

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) May 28, 2013

If the DOJ hasn't gone after Seymour Hersh, they are incompetent.

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) May 23, 2013

When Simpsons Tapped Out is down, I am tempted to read.

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) May 21, 2013

How come you never see dogs in televised poker games?

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) May 21, 2013

Why can't the AP just use burner phones like all of the other criminal organizations you hear about on TV?

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) May 16, 2013

Is there a way to use LinkedIn to list all of your professional rivals and enemies?

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) April 8, 2013

I was trying to explain the whole Iraq thing to Rip Van Winkle. Mr. Winkle doesn’t believe me.

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) March 19, 2013

Where are these contests where you can win bread?

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) March 13, 2013

Bananas should now be called monkey sticks.

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) March 4, 2013

I have an unhealthy desire for praise from other people. Also, I am terrible at figuring out what other people want.

— micah holmquist (@micahholmquist) February 25, 2013

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