micah holmquist's irregular thoughts and links

News related to Iraq

Sources tell me the assault/demolition of Basra and Sadr City is scheduled to begin as soon as U.S. and Iraqi military officials are done consulting with Janet Reno.

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Iraqis are demonstrating against Maliki and calling for him to resign (The Real News, March 28), but to no effect. These people are excessively ambitious for an American style democracy.

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Great Britain’s Ministry of Defense said yesterday that its Real British Heroes tortured nine Iraqis in September 2003 and that one of these Iraqis died (Kim Sengupta, The Independent, March 28). In other words, Gitmo detainees should stop complaining.

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In light of Dick Cheney's infamous "so" comment last week that he explained meant he did not care what people in the U.S. of A. think of U.S. policy towards Iraq and Dana Perino explaining that Bush didn't care either, I found it a bit odd that Bush gave a speech yesterday trying to justify U.S. policy towards Iraq. Is this just an example of a totalitarian's prerogative to give speeches? Or does Bush actually enjoy coming across as an idiot while knowing that no professional journalist will come out and say this?

I think it is great for America that the governor of the state where all the journalists live has been caught in business dealings with women who prostitute themselves.

This news will discourage regular clients of prostitutes, as well potential news clients, from utilizing these services and instead they will be forced to explain to their lovers and spouses that watching panda porn is the only way they can get aroused. This will bring couples closer together as people try to accommodate the sick perversions of their one and only, or perhaps split them up leading to a necessary realignment. America will eventually be a much happier place as a result.

More importantly, due to decreased demand for their services, men and women will leave the prostituting arts for more lucrative careers in let us say bank robbing. This in turn will lead to an increase in the number of dead bank tellers that is both stark and dramatic. Cemeteries will be forced to expand by purchasing new tracts of land. This will bid up the price of real estate and therefore will end our nation's housing crisis and bring us out of the economic troubles that threaten to make us a place the terrorists won't even bother to want to destroy.

Or, at the very least, Kandy will now believe me when I tell her I am the governor of a state in some other part of the country.