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If I ever call Janet Parshall up...

Janet Parshall’s America is a great radio program featuring a delightful mix of conservative Christianity and right wing foreign policy. Listen to the program and you will find out that fossils prove that the Great Flood created the Grand Canyon and also that America can not afford to fail in Iraq and thus will not do so.

One thing that really does upset host Janet Parshall, and rightfully so, is when losers bring up WMDs. She will shut them right off and go on a long, less than historical, rant. Parshall is good at those, so it would be foolish of me to call in and talk about that, or anything else that puts a negative light on how wonderful the war on terror is going. So, instead, I think I would like to give her a ring to say:

Hello... Yes, it is an honor to speak with you Janet. You are truly doing God's work.

I don't understand why all these people have to criticize our president. Can't they see that he is doing a good job and nobody has attacked us since September 11th? I'm really afraid that Americans have forgotten their history and will spit on our returning heroes again just like they did in Vietnam.

Parshall would then thank me for being a great Christian patriot who doesn't fall for the lies of the mainstream media.

The only real question would be, would Parshall think I'm stupid?

Micah responds to something a great man has written

I try not to spend much time reading blogs dedicated to abusing, injuring and killing people as life is short even if you are not a stupid Iraqi, but sometimes I temptation gets two or three evil claws on me and I do. I certainly try to not bother responding to them, because doing so will not do any good. There is no room for dialogue as I do not understand their perspective, which is not for a lack of trying, and basically assume that they must be dishonest and/or stupid. But then sometimes I just give in...

Author, blogger, columnist, radio talk show host and former Reagan appointee Hugh Hewitt (January 24) is adamantly against the U.S. Senate passing a non-binding resolution against the surge/escalation/whatever exactly you want to call the plan from Bush that is just so certain to solve, at the very least, the most important problems of Iraq. Such a plan, Hewitt writes, will inspire "the enemy" and give it the extra bit of confidence needed to kill more of God's greatest people. (Fuck you Iraqis!)

This confuses me. I thought they were already so evil that they want to kill us all and that we have occupy Iraq to keep them from doing so. I thought they hated us because we exist and that nothing we could do had any effect on them, but hey, as I wrote above, I really do not understand the mindset of people who write stuff like this.

So anyway Hewitt –who keep in mind gets paid for this kind of material- is now passionately urging and encouraging others to urge Republican senators to filibuster any resolution that does not tell our troops they are doing a great job because they are doing what our great president tells them to do, or something. Although this is opposition to a resolution that would have no impact on U.S. foreign policy, the brilliant thinker knows the stakes are high (January 24):

At some point, all the Senators who are involved in the debate on the Anti-Surge resolution will have to face the light of history. If the surge succeeds, there malfeasance will be mere footnotes to history...

But if the surge fails and the war effort fails, history will wonder why these Senators went so out of their way to undermine their country effort at such a pivotal time. History will ask why they thought it was critical that they show to our enemies and our soldiers their lack of confidence and resolve.

In other words, if you disagree with plan, you should keep your mouth shut as nobody will care if you are wrong and, if you are right, it is your fault that you were right and America lost.

There is no room, in the outlook of Hewitt, for opposition to the occupation that is not against the great Americans and especially the great American troops. He appears very comfortable with this limit on political discourse.

I will concede that it is very possible that Hewitt is right about how people in the future will look at things. Hewitt, for one, will certainly look at it this way if the surge does not succeed and not be without influence in getting others to take a similar view, but the widespread support that once existed amongst the general public for invading and occupying Iraq should be all the proof one needs that that the public and the elites are, at least some of the time, idiots who deserve to be laughed at.

Wait, I'm sorry. I forgot, there are some people so stupid they still do not acknowledge this.

Hewitt's speculation about the future indicates a matter of fact confidence that the current opposition to the U.S. trying to run Iraq, and be extension other countries, will not last. Does what we know now justify his confidence? Given what happened the aftermath of the U.S. experience in Vietnam as well as the pitifully small anti-war movement that now exists in the country that can never stop talking about how great it is, I would say he does.

The question is, what can be done to change the situation so that Hewitt is wrong? On the theoretical level, people need to understand that the invasion and occupation of Iraq is not an aberrancy of U.S. foreign policy, but a period that easily goes along with the larger themes.

I wish I knew how to convey that in a way that significant numbers of people, i.e. a near majority if not a majority of the outright variety, would agree with.

I wish I even believed that was possible. Hewitt is at least angry about the resolution. The same can't be said for the major Democratic activist websites.

Given how much they pushed for Democrats to take control of congress and their widespread opposition to the troop increase, one would think that there would be outrage on sites like Daily Kos, Eschaton and MoveOn.org that the Democrats are only pressing for a nonbinding resolution. However, the frontpages of these sites reveals none, unless you count a Daily Kos post by MissLaura (January 25) that notes that a binding resolution is off the table without any interest in this how this came to be. Quite simply, there does not appear to be much interest in actually ending the occupation amongst online activist Democrats. When that is the opposition as it currently exists, what hope is there inside of the United States?

Bush fires God

A little noticed aspect of President Bush’s big January 10 sending more troops to Iraq speech is that God did not come up. Bush did not order Him to bless anybody or even mentioning conversing with The Man Upstairs.

Sources inside the White House tell micah holmquist's irregular thoughts and links that this is because Bush fired God on December 31. (Please note that God’s name does not appear on any whitehouse.gov site from that date till now, January 18.)

Some would call sacking the Almighty a daring move, but God's record of advice hasn’t been the best and our sources indicate that even Bush was becoming frustrated with His recommendations. As Bob Woodward recounts in his 2004 book Plan of Attack, Bush prayed to God after ordering the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Insiders says that God was angry at not being consulted earlier and was especially critical of the administrations lack of planning for tensions between the various groups in Iraq that God frequently says in the Bible are "inevitable when you get a bunch of heathens together."

Still God agreed to serve as an advisor and was a valued liaison to Bush's 2004 presidential campaign and is widely credited with coming up with the strategy of demanding that Democratic candidate John Kerry answer whether or not, he would have supported the invasion of Iraq based on his current knowledge.

In recent months, however, the relationship between Bush and God was anything but cordial. The universe’s creator was especially upset when he found out that Bush was considering admitting mistakes in Iraq. Several sources say that the two were once heard loudly arguing in the Oval Office along the lines of:

God: Don't you realize how this will make Me look to Allah? I do not want to face this guy and have to say I was wrong.

Bush: Cool down there Big Boy. Maybe if you didn't always reject Cheney's great plan to just kill every Iraqi asshole, we wouldn't be in this mess.

The person who answers the White House’s phone line refused to answer any questions about this matter. micah holmquist's irregular thoughts and links was unable to inquire with White House Press Secretary Tony Snow, because other reporters, from more respected news organizations, had to ask all of their stupid questions first and, according to the 48th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States of America, the press secretary is forbidden to answer every question that reporters want to ask him.

Our sources that wish to remain anonymous did stress that God retains His American citizenship and remains a big supporter of the home of the brave. And Bush’s comment in the January 10 speech about how America is "blessed" to have soldiers may have been the president's way of mending fences.

It is unclear if the lessening of restrictions on what U.S. troops can do to defeat Iraqis before finishing the liberation of Iraqis that Bush mentioned on January 10 has anything to do with God's departure, although a popular joke amongst those who use the White House email system is a chain mail message featuring a poem entitled "Thou Now Shall Kill Lots Of Iraqis."