Harry helps the terrorists

The Harry Potter craze is endangering America by making our children fat.

You may have heard about this recent youth craze of black magic themed reading that has captured the public’s imagination and lead to a situation where book sales recently topped the box office sales of some movies, a dangerous trend that we must not all to continue.

Reading is a passive activity unlike mowing the lawn. It makes people lazy and doesn’t give them the energy they need. It does not strengthen their eye hand coordination and if, I remember correctly, does not encourage them to burn calories by eating like watching tv does. Even fornication does more to strengthen the body. It is a worthless activity engaged in by losers and needs to be stopped.

And yet parents see no problem with this. They buy the books and everything. They are destroying their children and turning them obese!

All of this no doubt brings a smile to the face of Osama. Mr. Bin Laden knows that if our young people spend all their time reading, they will not be strong to fight him and the other terrorists, which will lead to the defeat of America.

Now, some will lie and say that reading strengthens the imagination or causes someone to think more. Indeed it does, but that is worthless. If a person becomes intelligent enough to use logic in their life, they will become quite frustrated and treasonous.

Yes, all of that sounds good, you are no doubt saying right now, but what can we do? What can I, as a parent, do to keep my kids from reading?

The answer is simple! Do not teach them the code and, if they try to learn, treat them like they were slaves, except be more brutal or just do something a bit different as that didn't turn out exactly the way I would have liked it to.

God will bless you for your efforts.

Comments

[bartkid]

Yo, you forgot to mention it seduces young Christians into practising black magic, adopting satanism, etc., etc, yadda yadda yadda.

[micah holmquist]

Very true, bartkid, but I am not sure what the terrorists think of those things.